Loves Traveling, Hates Air Travel

So many terminals and air carriers provide poor service, delayed flights, dirty planes and terrible luggage handling that I almost want to stay home. How about you?

Can you be a travel writer and hate air travel? Yes.

This year I've suffered more bad trips than hippies did in 1966. Air travel has become the bus service of the new millennium: welcome to the friendly skies of Greyhound. To those over 55 who remember decent service, it's especially galling -- and hard on both mind and body.

It didn't take a blizzard (although one did delay me) nor did I fly Jet Blue. Yet I found myself longing for the time when you didn't have to chugalug your water or stash toothpaste, sunscreen, and lipsticks in a Ziploc bag… when you didn't have to shlep in socks through security… when airlines did not lie about delayed departures and when terminal food did not taste like Styrofoam.

On United from Denver recently I was in a narrow coach row with crumbs all over, and an unwiped tray. Then flight attendants announced that that even though complete rows of Economy Plus seats were empty, phantom customers might have paid $50 extra for the few inches of extra legroom in them. So, those of us stuffed three-across in steerage (dozens of coach rows behind the exit rows) were warned not to move once the plane took off. That sucks.

At Salt Lake City's Delta terminal I waited a half-hour in a security queue on a non-holiday Thursday morning. I watched 4-year-olds struggle to take their own shoes off while their moms were juggling baby formula bottles and infants in their arms.

Meanwhile everyone tells stories of forgotten hand lotion that passed undetected in carryon bags, of waiting a half-hour and more for checked bags to show up at New York's LaGuardia Airport, and other horror tales. I sure hope we've discouraged terrorists, because the extreme measures are discouraging us, the mature travelers.

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